Review: The Case for Falling in Love – Mari Ruti, PhD

Read: 7
To Go: 93

Book List
1. Happy Ever After – Nora Roberts
2. The Bone Cage – Angie Abdou
3. Unless – Carol Shields
4. No Rules…Just Write – C. Noelle Susice
5. All My Friends Are Dead – Avery Monsen and Jory John
6. The Best Laid Plans – Terry Fallis
7. The Case for Falling in Love – Mari Ruti, PhD

After finally finishing up The Best Laid Plans, I took a day or two off from reading, and resumed with The Case for Falling in Love by Mari Ruti, yesterday. It was a book I was given to read and review for my weekly column at work, so I had to read it much faster than a book I’m just reading for fun.

The Case for Falling in Love is a book that pokes holes in the advice of self-help authors who give out tips on love and dating, as well as looking into the theories and explanations behind why love is so completely untameable. In that respect, it’s a bit of an anti self-help book. Ruti doesn’t look at how to fall in love “properly,” but rather the fallacies presented by well-meaning authors in their attempt to make love safer and less painful for women. According to Ruti, the cultural assumption that women need to learn how to catch and keep a man is doing much more harm than good, and playing games is an utter waste of time.

My opinion? It was a good read, and definitely enlightening.

Ruti drew many connections between the typical dating advice in self-help novels (women need to restrict who they are, accept the erroneous belief that all men want and need a chase to stay interested, and tailor their actions with that in mind) with the age-old way of socializing women to be meek, or soft – to be anything more (strong, and competent) would be unfeminine. Her novel worked to prove that women shouldn’t follow the advice in their favourite self-help novels – or, at the least, should take it with a grain of salt – because to do so would attract the exact types of men they’re looking to avoid: those who need their partners to come across weak, as a way of asserting their own manliness.

While reading I often found myself relating with Ruti’s points, especially those regarding the Thing (no, not that thing – get your heads out of the gutters), also known as the undeniable click or feeling of immediate attraction, and how lost love, though painful, can make you stronger.

I’d recommend this read to any and all women – those in relationships, those who wish to be in relationships, and even those who are flying solo and definitely enjoying it. You’ll find yourself empowered, and a bit more aware.

Next book: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll (I have to read it for class).

– Kelsey


2 thoughts on “Review: The Case for Falling in Love – Mari Ruti, PhD

    • I know, right? It was quite refreshing to read, because it wasn’t focused on that whole “you, as a woman, are doing something wrong by not knowing the male psyche,” mentality, which a lot of romantic self-help books always project. :]

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